Monday, 25 March 2013

The Storm


It is dark...
The wind is blowing violent; he seems to scream its angry...
Nature is sad, man is no longer her ally...
The Thunder and the Lightning are predicting the begining of the War... is going to be devastating!
The Moon and her daughters, the Stars, are hiding beyound the clouds.
They are so scared, that they start to cry;
Millions of tears are hitting the Earth...
Trees are feeling humble, they are kneeling in front of the Mother Nature.




All night belongs to the Mother Nature...
She expresses fury when her children are sleeping.
In the morning, she is going to be the best mother in the world.
Calm and bright, she will embrace her children with the sunlight.
Those little beings will never know how sad was their Mother....
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2 comments:

  1. Unknown26 March 2013 at 06:01

    Hello,

    I hope you don't mind me saying, but I think you might have fallen into a common writer's trap. You've written a poem (I assume), but you've not shown the reader anything, only told them. Instead of saying that it is dark or that the wind is blowing, etc. show the reader by using sensory details. Compare the wind to something to make us actually see the scene.

    I hope this helps!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown27 March 2013 at 12:27

    Thanks for suggestions, Ryan! I don't mind at all, I am glad you told me what you thing I should change! :)

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